I Get Knocked Down, but I Get Up Again

Waiting for scan results is one of the most emotionally draining things I seem to do on a regular basis. On September 18, 2018, I had my last stable scan. My next scan after that, December 11th, (thanks, iCal), seemed to be the start of what became a pretty significant avalanche. That scan showed progression …

On Sadness and Survivorship

Today is National Cancer Survivors Day. It's a day intended to celebrate those who have "battled" cancer, who have faced the beast and "won." Or rather, who have found themselves in a place of sufficient distance from their disease to find reason to celebrate. Now, don't get me wrong - I also find plenty of …

Why Research is the Reason

Way back in the early 1990s, breast cancer felt like a dirty phrase. People whispered it in secret, afraid to talk about this disease. The concept of "awareness" was only beginning to take hold, a primarily grassroots tool that put into place some structural cohesion for those whose lives had been impacted by breast cancer. …

A Long Update

It’s not uncommon for estrogen-positive metastatic breast cancer to shift, to mutate, and to become resistant to hormone therapy. Truthfully, the cancer continues to mutate so as to evade all lines of available treatment at some point, including even the most harsh lines of intravenous chemotherapy. This is a critical, but poorly-understood, area of both …

Brain Fog

I'm currently writing this post from my back porch - there is just enough sunshine dappling my chair to be warming and soothing, but not enough to feel harsh on my sensitive eyes. It's been nearly two weeks since my SRS brain radiation, and barely a month since the brain MRI that set all of …

Brain Tumor Chat

I'm slowly digesting this news - yes, now my breast cancer is in my brain. But as I process this information, I also have to keep reminding myself that the lesions are very, very small. These spots are manageable. I've found some measure of compartmentalization that has allowed me to give this new development a …

Good News/Bad News

Clinical trials are always a bit of a crapshoot. On one hand, you have the opportunity to be treated with the most cutting-edge technology, medications, and treatments available. On the other hand, well, it's a trial. There's no truly solid data on its efficacy because you are the data. I felt fairly comfortable with my …

The Last Two Months

“I do not wish my anger and pain and fear about cancer to fossilize into yet another silence, nor to rob me of whatever strength can lie at the core of this experience, openly acknowledged and examined...imposed silence about any area of our lives is a tool for separation and powerlessness.” -Audre Lorde, The Cancer …

Playing The “What If” Game

As a child, I often tried to make sense of the greater world by trying to understand the relationship of that which was happening in my life in relationship with all of the myriad things that could happen. For years, I would travel down the rabbit hole of "what if," much to the frustration of …

The Intersection of Cancer and Life, Episode 12: Ellis Emerson

It's hard to believe this is Episode 12 - the last episode of Season 1of the Intersection of Cancer and Life. Thank you all so much for following along and listening to our show. Thank you too, to our incredible guests this season: Nora McMahon, Justin Birckbichler, Marianne Duquette Cuozzo, Robin Browne, Racheli Alkobey, Emily …